Hello all. After a week of soul-searching and self-loathing, I’ve decided to lighten the tone. It’s time to get romantic, baby.
Kate Northrup suggests that once a week you light a candle, pour yourself a nice drink, put on your best dress and…. go through your bills…. after all, who needs a hot man when you can get down and dirty with direct debits?
She calls this a ‘Financial Freedom Date.’
Thank you so much to all the lovely people who sent me messages after last my post. It’s a very strange thing to find yourself telling the world about stuff that you don’t even like to acknowledge yourself. But the messages showed that I’m not the only one who feels sick, scared, panicked and like a bad person when it comes to money.
The weird thing with this money business is that it’s just so big – it affects everything and is in our heads every day – and yet few of us talk about it properly. We might talk about wanting more of it, or ‘not being able to afford’ things, but we don’t talk about how it makes us feel or the messy situations we get into with it.
Well, as predicted there have been tears. This weekend was spent gathering six months worth of bank statements, credit card bills, phone bills, receipts etc, as recommended in Money – A Love Story. It was an unholy mess. My tummy felt sick, my chest felt tight, then I felt proper panic and then I started crying.
I hate myself when it comes to money, really, really hate myself.
Wow. What can I say? It’s just gone midday on a Monday and this morning alone I’ve had 4,500 visits to the site, an interview request from China and a lovely email from a man who says he would not be averse to dating a self-help fanatic! Yes, the Daily Mail is a powerful thing.
This morning the paper was kind enough to run a double page article about the blog and I’ve been inundated with lovely messages ever since. Thank you! It really has made my day and can’t quite get my head around the fact that I now have readers in Chile, China and the Philippines.
So this month is the MONEY MONTH. Do you think it’s telling that I’m running almost two weeks late in starting it?! In self-help land, I believe they call that ‘resistance.’
No doubt I will end up having to go into more sordid details over the next few weeks but suffice it to say, I am bad with money. I suspect it will take me much more than a month to get it sorted.
At the age of 36, I have no pension, no savings, no property. Instead I’m the proud owner of three ginormous overdrafts and one credit card.
Before I move on to the next book (I’m already behind schedule) I’d like to wrap up my Feel the Fear month. How was it? Did it change my life? etc etc.
So first of all, how was it? Well, in truth it was exhausting. I’ve gone my whole life without chatting up strangers, getting naked in public, performing stand-up comedy and jumping out of a plane – so to cram them all into one month was a bit head-wrecking.
But God, it was brilliant.
I read somewhere that our fear is not that life is too short but that we don’t feel alive when we live it. How true. Most of my life is spent in a worried rut but last month I felt very alive. Every day felt like a day when something could and would happen. It was exciting.
AND I became the most interesting person in the pub – which, as we all know, is very important.
So how did I get on with my list?