It’s 6am and I’m heading off on a job in a bit but wanted to say a quick thank you all so so so much for the lovely comments yesterday. It made me cry again but in a good way. I wish you could all know what it’s like to have a moan and then have dozens of people send you lovely messages. It’s pretty amazing and not what I was expecting and, to be honest, not what I deserve.
Thank you especially to the people who told me about their dark patches – especially around money. It really helped.
Before I move on to the next book (I’m already behind schedule) I’d like to wrap up my Feel the Fear month. How was it? Did it change my life? etc etc.
So first of all, how was it? Well, in truth it was exhausting. I’ve gone my whole life without chatting up strangers, getting naked in public, performing stand-up comedy and jumping out of a plane – so to cram them all into one month was a bit head-wrecking.
But God, it was brilliant.
I read somewhere that our fear is not that life is too short but that we don’t feel alive when we live it. How true. Most of my life is spent in a worried rut but last month I felt very alive. Every day felt like a day when something could and would happen. It was exciting.
AND I became the most interesting person in the pub – which, as we all know, is very important.
So how did I get on with my list?
Hello! Hello! It’s me… I’m sorry I vanished for a week without telling you all about the JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE business. It turns out that a month of full-on fear facing is EXHAUSTING and last week was spent in the Priory. Only joking, I was just tired and busy and not capable of putting together a good post. I am happy to report I am now back on glittering form. Ha!
So, where were we?
Well, many of you will have seen this picture:
it looks like I’m having the time of my life, right? Well, I wasn’t. Despite the crazy grin on my face (the result of gale force winds) I absolutely HATED it. I know, I know! Sorry to end the month on a downer but it’s the truth.
I have temporarily lost the power of words so I’m just posting a picture. This is what I did today:
Have a nice weekend.
Well, it finally happened. The thing I was dreading the most – more than getting naked, chatting up strangers and even jumping out of a plane – is now over and done with.
Yes, on Sunday night I got up in front of a microphone in a London pub and delivered a stand-up comedy routine.
I use these terms loosely – I was definitely standing up but whether it was ‘comedy’ or even a ‘routine’ is debatable. But either way, I did it. And it was was one of the scariest things I’ve done in my life.
So this weekend I enrolled on a two day stand-up comedy course that culminated in a live performance on Sunday night. I also arranged to eat offal and do karaoke on Saturday night. Suffice it to say it was a meltdown inducing, terrifying weekend.
But look, here I am writing about it – which means that I must have survived…
First the Saturday night offal and karaoke.
My lovely friend, Claire, treated me to a dinner at to St John in Farringdon. It specialises in something called snout to tail food and is the kind of restaurant that I would never in a million years go to. I’m a real wimp when it comes to food. I don’t eat much meat and even feel funny eating the dark bits of chicken. I like my food to be as sanitised and removed from its source as possible. No eyes, innards or things with funny textures.
So Claire did the ordering for us.
Vegetarians please look away but this is what we had: bone marrow (which were basically bones on a plate which looked like something the Flinstones would eat), liver of some sort, haggis and ox’s heart. Yup, heart.
I have a random request but please hear me out….